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I’ve known this girl forever. I love her dearly. She’s been with a dead beat dude as his forever gf for years. They went to high school together, he was hot-shit-popular and she was quiet, they connected in adulthood, and now she’s miserable but refuses to leave.
I am now with a wonderful man. He buys me beautiful, thoughtful, expensive gifts; he takes pride in and genuinely enjoys taking me out on dates and new experiences and pays for everything. Most importantly though, he helps with my depression. I told him I’m afflicted with these episodes sometimes but I manage it well. He researched it himself without any prompting from me. He knows the signs and is patient, kind, and helpful when it comes up. I love him for it.
She hates it.
I’ve told her to dump her shitty bf countless times. She deserves better. She deserves to be adored and cherished like I adore and cherish her. She deserves to be complimented and wined-and-dined and showered with love and affection.
I don’t brag about my bf because I’m not trying to rub in a wound. But she’ll see the nice necklace I’m wearing and ask “Was that a gift?” when she already knows the answer, and then she’s in a bad mood.
All the times before she’s gone MIA because she had a new boy, never wanted to hang out, cancelling on me last minute because some boy called wanting his dick wet. Times I’ve really needed her and she let me down because she was pining after a guy who wanted to hang out that day instead.
I don’t enjoy her jealousy. I resent that I have to watch what I say in case I say something too positive about my relationship and she gets upset. I resent that she’s not happy for me. I’ve been through my share of shitty, shitty relationships. It’s nice to have a really good one.
She didn’t want to spend time with me when I was in a shitty relationship before and sought comfort and advice; I was too depressing for her, as she was in a new relationship with The Hot Guy From HS. Now she doesn’t want to spend time with me when I’m in a good relationship, because seeing me wear new clothes or jewelry that my BF got me feels to her like I’m rubbing it in her face.
I miss my fucking friend.
Do you want to stay friends with her? Because it sounds to me both of you don't like each other very much.
It sounds as though you, like your friend, are unable to let go of a bad relationship. I know how much history you have, but step back from this friendship. In my pickme past, I was not always a good friend and a very kind, polite, mature friend of mine started taking longer to respond and seemed to always be busy when I suggested a get-together. I didn't understand at the time, but in hindsight, I clearly wasn't being a high value person in her life, so she quietly stepped out of mine. Now when we occasionally bump into each other, I respect her choice and am friendly in the moment but then move on without expectation of rekindling the friendship. Perhaps one day our values will realign and we can be friends again, but until then, we have our own lives to live. If both of you are making each other unhappy when you're together, it's time to move on.
You need to make new friends that respect and cherish you. It's time to let her go. Maybe send her link of FDS and say goodbye. I have a pickme friend for 9 years and then she sided with my molester. Such friendships ain't truly friendships.
You need to move on; you can do it slowly if you need to. Just start making other friends and meeting new people; eventually the time you make for her will diminish and either rise in quality or dissipate altogether.
It's important to realize when people don't want advice and just want someone to rant to. Because if you're giving unsolicited advice and the other person doesn't take it, you're going to feel resentful.
Time to cut ties. People like this become dangerous.
This is a tough situation. having to tip toe around a friends feelings is exhausting. Poor you!